huffs

one of my big problems is that i create such a big distinction between friendship and romance/sex!! like the second i make out w/ someone no matter how hard i try to keep it friendly it’s like a Big Thing now, we can never go back, and i just get super attached because im awful. i cant be casual and its the worst because my life would be muchh simpler if i could just have casual meaningless sex without developing feelings, or at the Very LEAST be able to have normal friendly interactions with someone after weve done things. like even if im aware that it wasnt for beautiful romantic reasons, i STILL get weird about it, i STILL feel like there’s something there which is just me being naive and dumb

like i definitely have the wrong perception which is “friendship + romance = relationship” rather than just understanding that romantic relationships and platonic friendships are just different types of the same thing, not fucking levels?? are my views totally fucked

moral of the story: i am way too emotional and disgusting to have casual sexual relations with people (and maybe at the core i’m just not meant for them). but im too horny to completely refrain from that shit !!!!